The news of
Major League Baseball’s steroid scandals continues to capture
headlines. I see today that Rogers Clemens, an All Star
pitcher, has been removed as a guest speaker at an upcoming
Texas High School Coaches Association Meeting (article).
Clemens had recently been cited in the Mitchell report as a user
of steroids. The publication of this report, with its
mention of many well-known baseball players, raises an
interesting question. When adults in the public eye fall
short of expectations, what will the impact be on young people?

I recall some
years ago the flak that NBA All Star Charles Barkley received
when he remarked that he was not a role model for youngsters,
that he was simply a professional basketball player. I
remember thinking at the time that Barkley got it wrong.
Whether he likes it or not, he is a role model, but not simply
because he is a professional athlete with much media attention.
As adults we are all role models. Young people are looking
at us all of the time to use as examples of how they should
conduct and build their lives.

I often talk to
young people about the importance of having heroes and role
models. A positive role model can serve a young person as
a source of affirmation and direction. Be careful, I
advise, who you look up to and emulate because you may very
possibly be like your role model in a few years. I
recognize the influence that heroes and role models can play in
a child’s life, but I also recognize that there are other more
important factors in a child’s life.

Building a
successful life is, I tell young people, much like sailing.
I explain that the sailboat is powered by the wind and would go
in any direction the wind blows were it not for its centerboard
and rudder. Those two pieces of equipment allow the sailor
to use the wind to guide the boat in any direction towards any
destination desired. For a child, the centerboard is the
child’s dreams and goals. The rudder represents the
child’s character and value orientation. Few winds will
shipwreck a purposeful child with a solid foundation of strong
character and clarity of values … not even a fallen hero or a
role model who falls short of the mark.

So with the
occasional role model falling short of the mark, how does a
child acquire a foundation of strong character and clarity of
values? My short answer is: from that child’s family and
more specifically that child’s parents. The relationship a
child has with his or her parents sets the stage for so much.
It is largely from this relationship that the child feels valued
or not, acquires a hopeful outlook or not, and develops the
internal structure and substance that is sustaining, or not.
I have previously described the parent’s positive influence in a
child’s life as resulting in presence.

Presence is
reflected in a child’s life by the child:

• Knowing and
  doing what is right even when peers do not;

• Opting to
  continue to persevere until the job is done or goal
  accomplished even when quitting or failing is the logical
  thing to do; and

• Adopting a
  hopeful and purposeful optimism even when cynicism is the
  easier attitude to embrace.

Presence is the
result of a parent’s commitment to his or her child throughout
that child’s life. It is rooted in the parent making an honest,
consistent and unconditional commitment to that child’s
well-being. Presence inspires, prompting the child to want
to do his or her best in order to be his or her best.

When a child
enjoys presence resulting from a parent’s commitment to his or
her well-being, the shortfalls of a role model met through
television or the newspaper is but a bump in the road. It
does, however, provide an opportunity for a parent to discuss
with his or her child topics such as competition, winning and
losing. It is an opportunity to help a child understand
the value of being his or her best, and not worrying about being
the best, whether it is in athletics, the classroom or any other
endeavor.

This is a great
time of year to reflect and prioritize what is important and
worthy of pursuit. The best gift a child can receive is
that child’s parent making a commitment to be his or her best as
a parent. The best gift a parent can receive is the result
of making such a commitment to his or her child.

See you in 2008!